Turning 35

Thirty-five years ago today, I was born in a hospital in Rochester, NY. I was two weeks late, so my mother had me by Caesarian section. According to my father, I was 9 pounds, 3 ounces and 21 inches long.

Sometimes I'm still amazed I can remember things I did 10, 15, 20 years ago. I had my first crush at age 8, on a tour guide named Pino; I can still remember the sweat of his palm on my hand as he walked me across a crowded cathedral in Italy. I remember the thrill of my first kiss, at age 15, while sitting in a cul-de-sac with an older boy who convinced me he saw a shooting star in the night sky. I remember my parents leaving me at Haverford at age 18, and the strange mix of terror, anger and sadness I felt as they drove away. I remember sitting on the green-and-white sofa in my first apartment in DC, which I shared with Erika (and Nick, most of the time), and feeling overwhelmed by the possibilities before me. I remember, when I got first apartment on my own, at age 23, I couldn't wait to to buy and arrange furniture just the way I wanted. And I remember how, a few months later, I went to the shelter and brought home my very first kitty, my sweet Lancelot.

When I was a little girl, I always imagined I'd be married by now, living in a house with my husband and children. I never remember thinking about building my career, or struggling to pay off debt, or needing to find "work-life balance" so I could find time to exercise or travel or read. It's funny how life gets in the way of our dreams.

So far, my life hasn't turned out the way I hoped it would. On the other hand, I've done things I never imagined I could. I drove thousands of miles across the country. I put myself through grad school. I came to Philadelphia and started over. I fell in love and walked away, which wasn't easy, even if it was right. Through enduring friendships I've loved a lot of people. I found a job that allows me to give a little something back to the world. I started this blog.

So even though I'm feeling a little ambivalent about my birthday, I am looking forward to the next stage of my life. I'd like it to be a great adventure involving love of various sorts, travel to distant lands and maybe a little more of that elusive work-life balance. And another cat. And maybe a nice big dog, too.